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Confronting my fear…and turning left.

So on Monday we had a warm up with a twist. Instead of going into the base of White Horse, we took a very lovely walk on the country roads and up to a wind turbine. Instead of turning right out of the house we turned left!! 😊💪🏼

Now you may or may not know and it is pretty hard to explain but I have a completely irrational fear of big things called megalophobia. See this link for more details: 

What Megalophobia is!
So basically for me, anything that is HUGE that I am not used to I.e a plane, a wind turbine, cranes.. creates a very uncomfortable feeling. I would love to go to the NASA museum and see the rockets etc but even the thought of it fills me with complete dread and a horrible knotting in my stomach.

So anyway I could see the wind turbines from afar and we were in a wide open space (which helps). Being able to see the huge thing from afar definitely makes it less stressful for me – getting my mind prepared.

   

really proud of this picture! one for the wall..
   
The closer we got the worse I was feeling but confident I would make it! This wouldn’t defeat me. I got to about 30 metres from it and started to cry! The tears came from no where but luckily had some great support from my colleagues and friends that I had tried to explain this weird fear to earlier on that morning.

I didn’t look up walking to it and made it to the turbine, which by the way makes a horrible, horror film noise. I had my pictures taken at the base of the structure and was able to look up. Looking up at the structure underneath it isn’t the issue I found, its being about 20 metres away and being able to take in the full height and size of it.

   
   
I can only explain it as a very daunting feeling and realising just how small I am in connection to it. I know it won’t fall onto me that isn’t the fear but I do feel very much out of control.

I was so pleased that I was able to concur it. I am not fully cured, I’m glad I’m away from them but I’m proud that it didn’t stop me.

Prost! (Cheers) xx 

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